He's Baaaack

Months ago, I posted about a pain in the ass customer hitting on me and using his backward ass slang. Dunno if anyone remembers or not.

Well, Mr. PITA is back. He JUST walked in the office. When I told him that the boss was delivering a car to another shop and would be back in about half an hour, he walked over to my desk and asked "Well, how bout I jus stan heah an watch ya?"

Translation: Well, how about I just stand here and watch you?

I said, "Um, no. But you can have a seat right over there if you want to wait."

Ugh. Then he asked what I meant by no. Hello stupid! You are old and creepy. You think you are hot shit with your old ass hanging out of your sagging pants, just like the gang bangers. If I had to guess at his age, I would say late 60s. He used to work with my dad and his grand kids are my age.

If he was paying cash instead of going through an insurance claim, I would totally have asked him to leave. Why does it make a difference? Because if the customer complains to their insurance company, we can be dropped from their referral program. And we jump through too many hoops to get into their referral programs for me to screw it all up by going psycho on some asshole.

Another Great Customer

I just got off the phone with Crazy Old Man Ed. Ed claims that we put his headrests on backwards.

Yes, his headrests.

But wait! There is more!

He says his back seat is at a downward angle. To clarify, he slides off of it when he sits on it.

Umm, ok?

I asked him if he locks his car up when he gets out of it.

He doesn't. And he has been somewhere in California since my boss delivered his car to him, 2 weeks ago.

There are too many things wrong with the story for me to believe that our shop is responsible for any of it.

#1. I don't think it is possible to put the head rests on backwards. There are these grooves in the metal that hold them into the seat and make them adjustable. They are like a key, sort of. They only go in one way. I could be totally wrong, but I am pretty sure that they are idiot proof.

#2. The boss, the owner, the one who does the final inspection before the car is released to the customer, drove the car to this guy. I think he, of all people, would notice something like that.

#3. On this particular car, the part you put your ass on is attached to the car. With bolts. The part your back rests against is the part that moves. It folds down and you can see the trunk. Now, this is how I am seeing it in our estimating database. We all know how I can see one thing and my brain reads it some other way, so I am not going to say that I am 100% positive on this one.

#4. I can say, without a doubt, none of our guys would pull a stunt like that. They all value their jobs too much to do something that shitty. I don't think that it would even occur to them to do it at all.

#5. The car was parked on the street, unlocked. For two weeks! Hypothetically, say you CAN put in headrests the wrong way. There are tons of asshole teenagers running around town, unsupervised, in the middle of the night. My money is on some little punk or group of punks doing all that crap to his car. Again, hypothetically speaking.

#6. I forgot what my last point was going to be.

In any case, I told Ed to bring his car by and I will have my boss take a look at everything.

He said sure, as soon as OnStar unlocks the car. Because the one time he does lock the car, he leaves the keys in it.

Dumbass.

I Would Have Rather Not Known

This just happened.

A customer came in to pay a bill while I was alone in the office.

Me: Afternoon.
Customer: Hows you today?
Me: Just fine. And yourself?
Customer: I knows yous fine.
Me: Huh?
Customer: I knows yous fine.
Me: Whatever. Today is NOT the day to start that shit.
Customer: What day you wants me to come back? What. Why yous lookin at me like dat? Yous gonna blush?
Me (shaking my head): You really don't want to know. I happen to like my job so I will just keep quiet.

Barf. I would have DIED if any of the guys I work with would have been around to witness that. I would never hear the end of it. I would be the butt of the jokes for months.

As if the way he speaks wasn't bad enough, this guy has to be in his 60's. Yes, a grown ass man that should know better speaks like a little hoodlum. I can't stand this guy. I saw him at Yal-mart (of all places, of course) the other day. I tried my hardest to avoid him but he kept showing up in every other aisle I needed to go to.

Ugh. Well, on the bright side.....damnit. I can't see the bright side to this.

Maybe the bright side is that at least someone still thinks I am hot after 2 kids and no sleep?

Nope! That doesn't make me feel any better. I am still pretty creeped out by the whole thing.

Problem Customers

Is it just me or does the auto industry attract the weirdos?

I feel like if there is a nutjob, mentally unstable or flat out asshole within 200 miles, they will come to this shop. I have to deal with jerks every single day, either in person or on the phone.

I have had to deal with enough today to make me want to not show up tomorrow. It has been BAD. As if Mondays aren't hard enough. At least we get to make fun of them after they leave.

This just happened---
Dude (shirtless with his at least 60 year old man boobs swinging around): You all worked on my car about a year ago.
Me (trying not to LoL at the naked man boobs): Mmmkkay. So what can I help you with?
Dude: Well I had the spare key tied up under my bumper and it isn't there anymore.
I look up his repair from a year ago.
Me: Well, it looks like we replaced that bumper, so your key is long gone by now.
Dude: Well where the hell would it have gone!
Me: It more than likely got sent to the trash, along with the bumper it was tied to. Because my techs didn't turn one in. It would be right here in this empty drawer.
Dude: What do you mean it got thrown away! It is a $70 key!
Me: But we took off that bumper and replaced it with another bumper, like YOU asked us to do. We had no way of knowing you hid your spare key somewhere in it.
Dude: Is there a MAN somewhere around here I can talk to?
Me: Sure there is. He isn't going to tell you anything different than I just did.
Over walks Jack.
Jack: We don't have your key that you hid in your bumper from a year ago.
Dude: You mean that they didn't take the key and hang it up somewhere?
Jack: No. We didn't hang up the key that we didn't even know was in there.
Dude: But it was a $70 key!
Jack: Aaannnddd?
Dude: Pfffhhhhtttt. Sugar, you better put something in that doomahickey about this.
Me: My name is not Sugar. And by Doomahicky, you mean what exactly?
Jack: You mean the ESTIMATE file?
Dude: Yeah, that.
Me: ...........whatever you say.

First, don't dismiss what I am saying just because I am a chick. Bad idea. Believe it or not, I DO sometimes know what I am talking about.

Totally different, semi-related story to the one above--
I promise that just because you call it a "Back Windowshield", I know for sure that it is really called "Rear Glass" or even a "Hatch Glass". And there is absolutely NO way that I am supposed to know that you really mean your "Driver's Window". Do NOT get shitty with me when it is completely the wrong piece of glass because YOU gave me the wrong information. Take it somewhere else if you want a mind reader. Or someone who is still nice to you after all that.

And while I am on the subject....yes, we do need ALL that information about you. Like your name, address, phone number, insurance company and if we are lucky a claim number and a claim representative phone number. How are we supposed to know who the hell you are and how the hell we are supposed to get paid? Don't give me attitude when I ask you these questions.

I think that is enough ranting about stupid people for today. There might be more tomorrow though.