Work LoL

There was an ice cream truck parked outside the shop when I got back from lunch. It was here for exhaust work. That in itself was pretty funny. But it gets better.

The boss lady kept looking at it and saying "It is so small! It's so short!". Jack was on his way out the door and said "Well, you know, what it lacks in length, it really makes up for in power."

Snort. I couldn't hold back. I am not so good at stifling giggles let alone full blown gut busting laughter.

So he gives me a funny look for a second and then it clicks. He turns red, tells me to shut up and goes out the door laughing. The boss lady keeps asking me what he had said. It takes me a while to pull myself together enough to repeat what he said.

Before I could get all the words out of my mouth, SHE starts laughing uncontrollably. We laugh and laugh. The big boss comes out of the bathroom just shaking his head at us because he had overheard everything.

When Jack comes back inside the office a little later he is all embarrassed. The big boss comes out of his office and says "Dude, you had these girls ROLLING!" We both cracked up laughing again. When we finally calmed down, Jack told me that I suck and have a dirty mind. Duh?

Now my sides hurt. But that is part of what I like about this job. I don't have to be professional 100% of the time.

But What If Santa Is A Dirtbag?

Monk Man gets a little worried about the craziest stuff sometimes.

We had just finished the first part of our 2 part Christmas eve tradition, the boys opening 1 pre-determined gift each.

Pajamas! Sometimes matching, sometimes not, sometimes festive, sometimes not. How fun, I know. But they are adorable!

So the boys are getting their pajamas on and their coats because we are off to complete our 2nd part of our Christmas eve tradition: Driving through town to look at all the houses that are decorated with lights.

All of a sudden, Monk Man freezes. He has gotten his pajamas all the way on except for an arm and gets this terrified look on his face.

Mom: Dude, finish getting dressed. It is time to go see lights.
Monk Man: Mom! What if Santa is a bad guy! What if he is a (gasp).....dirtbag?

Hubbs and I look at each other and bust out laughing. By the time we finally get our shit together enough to be able to breath again, Monk Man has forgotten about Dirtbag Santa.

Where he got that idea, I have no idea. So far, he hasn't brought it up again. I need to figure out what to say the next time he asks something similar. Because you know he is going to.

The Giggles

Want to know what makes me LOL. Really LoL, hard enough that the guys in the office want to know what is so funny?

"What in tarnation?"

I have read that seemingly harmless phrase in a few blog and forum posts a lot lately. Usually I can stifle the giggles pretty well but those 3 words just kill me. I just can't help myself.

It must be the way my mind hears it. When I say it in my head it sounds just like Yosemite Sam and I think that is why it is so damn funny.

To All The Husbands

One of the coupon girls posted this.

Men, learn this and remember this!

This is for husbands of women frequently referred to as "coupon ladies" or better yet this is for the husbands of women that have just discovered "couponing". Here are some rules, hints, and suggestions:

1. "Couponers" have their own special communication/ language that they use to communicate with each other. You will need to learn this language if you ever plan on having a conversation with your wife again. A small example of what your wife might say to you: "Honey, I went to Wags and BOGOed shaving cream which was a MM because it produced a RR. And then I went with my GC to Rite Aid and got the items that were FAR which turned into a MM as well. And then because I had some expiring ECBs went and got some of the MM items at CVS too. We really need to get some more ink for the computer so I can print more IPs."I would translate that sentence but I got lost at the first BOGO.

2. Real men do indeed shave with pink razors if that is what was free or nearly free in the past few months. You will also find that your shaving cream now smells lightly floral and comes in light pink or green cans.

3. Your favorite foods will become a thing of the past as you learn to eat new and exotic foods. Some you will like. I never knew that ice cream from various manufacturers could taste so different, but I am willing to taste them. Some you won't like. Kashi – it takes a special man to admit to liking twigs and sticks and this man does not.

4. Your soap now has green netting around the bar of soap so that it doesn't slip out of your hand while showering or your body wash smells like cucumbers, coconut, melons, etc… I am not fond of the body wash that smells like a Moroccan massage parlor. When you are meeting up with your buds to work on a car you really do not want to smell like a Moroccan massage parlor. But you will learn to smile and hide the pain. Just gently tell her "Honey I think these would be a great item to donate to charity."

5. You will find stockpiles of items in the least expected places. I went to the coat closet to find my work boots. On the floor instead of my boots were stacks and stacks of toilet paper. Ummm, do we really need to have enough toilet paper for the whole subdivision for the next year? According to my wife the answer is yes. Men, you will learn to respond by saying the following, "Of course dear, you are right."

6. Your friends and family instead of coming over to watch a football game now come to shop at your home for groceries and green bottles of shampoo and conditioner.

7. You will learn not to disturb your wife on nights when the sales paper comes out. Especially if she has her "coupon binder" and is "matching up sales". Hint: In the event of a fire – don't bother grabbing the insurance papers, grab her coupon binder.

8. Do not even think of arranging anything on Sunday's before or after church as she is busy hitting up the stores with coupons.

9. You will discover that your meek, mild and loving wife turns into a fire breathing creature you never knew existed if a cashier or store manager tells her that the reason she did not get her RR was because she used a coupon or that she can't use a particular coupon. Pray hard if they accuse her of coupon fraud. If this occurs you will discover her speed dial #s 1-10, well none of them call you. They are reserved for the corporate headquarters of her favorite stores.

10. Never ever ask why she is bringing home 5 more tubes of toothpaste when you already have 100 plus tubes in the guest bedroom closet. Suffice it to say if she brought it home, just tell her what a fabulous shopper she is and how proud you are of her.

11. You will start to recognize other husbands of "coupon ladies". Look at their lunch. Do they have children's juice boxes as drinks, packs of starkist tuna (I do believe we have more tuna in the guest bedroom then our local grocery store has on their shelves.), small toothbrushes called Wisps, they smell slightly floral and there is a small handmade coupon good for BOGO kisses and hugs.

There are many more things I could relate to you, but when it is all said and done you will discover she has saved you a lot of money and it seems to make her happy.

And when she is happy …. So am I.

Are you having a bad day?

I know I am.

In an attempt to not flip out, I have been cruising the loldogs.

And smoking. A lot.

I can't wait for bed time.

It seems

even Trent Reznor himself gets the Blue Screen of Death (BSOD). I wonder if he found the "any" key.



Picture isn't mine, Amy Randazzo gets the photo credit.

I guess the BSOD is there on purpose. It is part of the show.

It made me giggle though.

Joyce, this is for you

Lets try this again.

Stupid Dogs

My stupid dogs, Molly and Duke, just learned something new about dish soap. They have a fascination with bubbles. Whenever the boys or I am taking a bath, they barge in the bathroom and lick up whatever bubbles they can before I throw them back out.

I was finishing up the dishes and a puff of bubbles landed on the floor. Well they both licked it and Molly started gagging and Duke just kept licking the air.

Hello? Just because the soap SMELLS like apples, it doesn't mean it will TASTE like apples.

McDonalds

I normally dont like commercials but this one made me laugh until I almost pee'd my pants.

McDonalds Chicken Dance

Fail Blog

Another site dedicated to LoL-type pictures. It is part of the Cheezeburger network (?). So check it out. Fail Blog Funny shit.

Ok, I know this is the BBC like British Broadcasting but I saw it and thought BBC as in Babycenter. Look:


see more pwn and owned pictures

And for the record, babycenter IS hiring.

Best Parent Ever

Go to this blog and let me know how many of these you are.

I am still trying to get my tally together. But I will let you know!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All right, I just finished reading that WHOLE BLOG. Final score? 6 out of 37.

Just for shits and giggles I am going to tell you about the ones I am guilty of.

#6: Ridiculous 1st Birthday Parties
For Monk Man's 1st birthday I rented out the banquet hall at a local restaurant. I bet I had invited 75 people. It was a huge deal and a huge nightmare. Hubbs sat in the bar drinking with FIL and some of our friends while me and my MIL were left to run the show. Bobblehead turns 1 in October. Please, for the love of God, someone remind me in September about Monk Man's party! Suggest a nice Bring-Your-Own-Crap backyard BBQ or something that will be easy.


#7: Yahoo Groups
I am only guilty of this if BBC counts.


#14: The Nintendo Wii
Me and Hubbs are gamers. Computer, Playstation, Wii, you name it, we have the gaming system. Well, except for the playstation 3 and the X-box live. We are too cheap for those still. Well Monk Man has followed in our footsteps. He could live with a controller in his hand. Probably sleep with it too. Bobblehead is showing interest already too. He wanted to play PS2 with Monk Man on Friday and ended up pulling the cord so hard that the entire console fell off the TV.


#21: Giving Unwanted Advise
Ummm, this blog is proof of that.


#25: Puppies.....rescued
Our Lab is a rescue. But most of my pets have been rescues. But we didn't rescue him for the show of it, we (read:Hubbs) really needed another dog. We would have happily taken a dog off the streets or from the pound. As long as we didn't get one from the pet shop or puppy mill, we were going to be happy.


#34: Overdressing at the Playground
I am only 1/3 guilty of this. I don't go anywhere without full makeup. If I don't put makeup on, I don't leave the house. Period.

Happy April Fools Day!

April Fools Day article on msn.com this morning.


http://msn.careerbuilder.com/custom/msn/careeradvice/viewarticle.aspx?articleid=1322&SiteId=cbmsnhp41322&sc_extcmp=JS_1322_home1&GT1=23000&cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=65b4374cfe254631afed9e848ab97279-260374654-KB-5

Funny, but I cant see myself playing an April Fools joke at work. But the ideas did make me giggle.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Comedian Jeff Dunham

Has anyone ever seen this guy? Fan-freaking-tastic! He is this comedian and he does his jokes with puppets. I havent laughed this hard in a long time. Here is a you-tube link. Check him out.http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=jeff+dunham&search_type=Lemme know what you think of him.