Toxic Family

Like I don't have enough issues to deal with anyway, now here is all this mess!

Monk Man is sick. We had been giving him breathing treatments all weekend and the cough seemed better this morning. He didn't have a fever or anything, just a cough, so he went to daycare.

The daycare lady texted me, saying that he had been coughing non stop since I dropped him off and she was afraid it was going to make him barf. I sent my mom over to pick him up since I am swamped at work and she lives right next door.

He wasn't at my mom's house an hour when she called and said that I needed to come pick him up. I told her I was the only one at the shop at the moment so there wasn't anything I could do. I made the mistake of asking what the hell was going on because, after all, he had only been there for less than an hour. How much trouble could he really be causing?

As it turns out, he wasn't the one being a shit head. It was my dad. My father was picking on his 4 year old grandson. Again. This time, every time Monk Man coughed, my dad would start screaming at him to cover his mouth or run to the toilet. Then he would go on and on about how he "doesn't want fing god damn barf all over the floor because the kid is being a baby". THAT is the exact wording that I heard come from his own mouth while I was on the phone.

Umm, excuse me? What did you just say to/about my son?

Being fed up, I bluntly told my mom that she just needed to take the boys to my house because I wasn't putting up with that bull shit directed towards my kids.

Seriously, if you want to be an asshole to your own kids, fine, that is your choice. But don't EVER be like that to mine and let me find out about it.

Ugh. I am so pissed off right now I could go over there and just punch him in the face. What kind of person treats a CHILD like that? It isn't like Monk Man can control it. He has a cough!

My dad didn't used to be like that. I don't know what the hell his problem is but it had better stop right now if he wants to see his grandsons.

Monk Man LOVES my dad. And my bitchy sister. He worships the ground they walk on and they both treat him like shit. It has gotten worse and worse in the last few months.

He begs to be able to go to my mom's house instead of daycare. This morning was bad. He kept crying "I wanna see Papa!" I asked him why he would want to go somewhere he was treated so badly and hugged him.

Anybody have any advice before I start punching people?

Of course there is the obvious answer, don't let Monk Man over there. But when neither of us can leave work, what else can I do?

The easiest (really, it is) option would be to pack up the family and move to where Hubbs could hold his stupid railroad job and I would be able to stay home with the kids but that isn't really possible right now either.

I need a drink.

I Hope This Works

I found out last week that my MIL is going to drive down from Colorado to spend Bobblehead's birthday with us so I need to take my vacation time the 2nd week of October to keep her company. AND she is staying with us instead of the hotel she promised us she would stay at the last time she mentioned the visit.

Nice to find out on short notice. At least it isn't going to be a surprise visit this time.

Well, since I am going to be out of my mind because I have so much deep cleaning to do since she is staying with us I am not going to have time to plan Bobblehead's birthday party.

So she can plan it. And if my mom wants to pout about it, she can plan a separate party. And if FIL and Step-MIL want to act the same, they can plan a separate party too. Screw it. I am not dealing with the bitching this year.

No one can even seem to fake getting along with each other. They couldn't even be in the hospital together after Bobblehead was born. Their visits had to be almost scheduled so they wouldn't accidentally run into each other.

My plan will probably backfire on me somehow but I refuse to be stuck in the middle of all the bitching and dirty looks and talking behind backs.

I just want to sit back, chase kids around, get drunk and enjoy a party for a change.

Well, At Least We Expected It

Hubbs got the call that his grandma died this morning.

He was in Colorado all last week visiting with her and we didn't expect her to last this long.

She has been ill for a long time. A few months ago she ended up in the hospital and they couldn't figure out what was wrong. They ran tests and did exams and finally decided that she was losing blood but didn't know where or why.

She had been receiving blood transfusions for the past couple of months but sometime around the end of July, the doctors said that they weren't going to give her any more transfusions and that she needed to get her affairs in order.

So we are going up to Colorado Wednesday morning. The viewing is Wednesday night, the funeral is Thursday and there is some family thing on Friday.

I have a feeling that things are going to get ugly. I was already told that kids will not be allowed at the funeral or the viewing. So that means I get to sit around MIL's house for hours with the boys. I am not too happy about not being allowed to be there to support Hubbs but I can see the point, to an extent. I wouldn't want to sit in a church filled with unhappy little kids. Not even my own, so it is better that they don't go.

The problem that I have is that no one even asked me if I wanted to be there. Nobody took MY feelings into consideration. I get that she wasn't MY grandma but I married her grandson almost 7 years ago and that is plenty of time for her to become like one of my grandmas. Somebody find me a damn babysitter because I want to be there. I know, it is such a bullshit thing to be pissed about and I feel like such an ass for even being pissed about it in the first place.

But I feel like I get left out of everything anymore. I am the one who always stays home with the kids. I really don't have any choice in the matter. Any matter. Everybody has just been expecting me to not argue or not question it. Hubbs never says he will stay home while I go out and do something. If I go do something, the whole damn family goes.

I am so sick of not having any say anymore. I get to decide what pan I want to use to make dinner in or what clothes I want to dress the kids in. That is the extent of my decision making anymore. I hate it.

Ugh. I really hope this is just my crazy ass hormones and I don't keep feeling like this.

Happy Freaking Thanksgiving

Well, the plan was to spend today over at FIL's.

Things never end up the way I expect them to.

Last night, we stopped by FIL's for a quick dinner and to spend some time with BIL. While we were there, my FIL's bulldog almost bit Bobblehead. He was just standing in the kitchen between Hubbs and I with his back to the dog, minding his own business. All of a sudden, the dog rams his head into Bobblehead's back, knocks him down and lunges at his face.

Unfreakingbelievable. This dog has been an asshole since they got him. He is a chronic biter. He has bitten step-MIL, FIL, BIL, Hubbs, the mailman (twice), all of FIL's friends, who knows who else, and now has tried to bite my youngest.

That stupid dog is lucky that Hubbs got to him before I did.

Anyway, we left shortly after we got Bobblehead calmed down. On the way out to the car, Hubbs and I decided that we didn't want to spend Thanksgiving trying to protect our kids from the asshole dog.

We stopped by Safeway on the way home and picked up Thanksgiving dinner. We spent $41.40 and saved $23.25. We bought a Rotisserie Chicken, a bag of Clementine Cuties (oranges I think), 2 more gallons of milk, stuffing, boxed potatoes, green beans, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie filling, cream of mushroom soup, gravy powder and black and green olives. All the stuff WE like, not what everybody thinks we like.

We got up around 8 this morning and dinked around until about 10. Then I started making my very first Thanksgiving dinner. Yes, I am 26 years old and have never even helped with the holiday cooking. That's why we got a chicken instead of a turkey. I wouldn't even know how to get the damn thing out of the bag.

So I made a pumpkin pie, stuffing, green bean casserole, the chicken, gravy, a relish tray, and scalloped potatoes. By myself, with absolutely no help. It was super good. I am so impressed with myself.

Of course FIL is pissed that we missed Thanksgiving dinner. Ummm, control your asshole dog? Its simple.

All in all, today turned out pretty well. It wasn't the disaster I dreamed it would be and it was nice not to have to deal with the other people in our family.

I even got out the good dishes that I have never had a chance to use. Hubb's grandma Betty got us a set of beautiful dishes for our wedding present 6 years ago and I FINALLY got to use them.

Postponing Iowa Trip

Hubbs and I decided to hold off on me trying to make the trip to Iowa on the 10th.

Money is just too tight right now (my fault) and My Little Bro (who was supposed to drive half way) didn't ask for the time off.

Sucks ass.

But it is probably the best decision.
1) My bosses weren't too excited that I was taking a week off.
2) I really want to get Monk Man's ears checked out before I make any big plans to go somewhere without him.
And 3) Hubbs and I would probably have fought the entire time I was there.

Stupid Dogs

My stupid dogs, Molly and Duke, just learned something new about dish soap. They have a fascination with bubbles. Whenever the boys or I am taking a bath, they barge in the bathroom and lick up whatever bubbles they can before I throw them back out.

I was finishing up the dishes and a puff of bubbles landed on the floor. Well they both licked it and Molly started gagging and Duke just kept licking the air.

Hello? Just because the soap SMELLS like apples, it doesn't mean it will TASTE like apples.

Tact, My Family Lacks It

Well, 2 specific people lack it.

My Grandmother lacks tact and my little sister lacks tact as well. I love giving examples.
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I walked into my moms house Thursday morning and the first thing out of Grandma Vi's mouth was, "I hope your husband isn't in the part of Iowa that is having the tornado's".

Wait, huh? Ummm thanks Grandma.

Like I don't have enough shit to worry about. Its hard enough that Hubbs is gone. But honestly, he is 1300 miles away, what the hell can I do about tornado's.

Freaking THINK before you open your mouth.
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When I was picking up Monk Man and Bobblehead on Wednesday, Grandma Vi was visiting with a long time family friend, Mrs. B.

Mrs. B. has known us since forever and is probably one of the nicest ladies in the world.

Mrs. B. brought gifts for Bobblehead and for KKs baby.

I took Bobbleheads gift, opened it, gushed about how cute the clothes were and thanked her. That is what you are supposed to do.

KK (my youngest sister) came out of her room and went into the bathroom. As soon as she came back out, Grandma Vi told her, "Come in here, just for a minute, Mrs. B. has a present for the baby".

KK whined back at her while storming down the hallway, "Iiiii'mmm tooooo tiiiiirrrreeeeddddd".

It took everything I had not to tell her what an ungrateful, lazy bitch she was. Yeah, it takes less than 5 seconds to turn around, walk back down the hall into the living room and say "Thank you Mrs. B."!
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Ok, I get that she is on bed rest. I get it, I really do. But that is no excuse to act like she does. My mom tells me to give her a break because she is a single, pregnant, scared little girl. No! Give ME a freaking break!

First off, I don't blame Baby's Daddy for not wanting to be around right now. Every time the 2 of them even text each other, it ends in a fight. He has tried to be around. He went to OBGYN visits for a while but he eventually got tired of being yelled at and told to go away. So he did. He is more than willing to step up and be a daddy to KKs baby if she decides to be human ever again.

Second, little girl? Uh, no. She is 20 years old. She acts like a little kid because my mom allows her to act like a little kid. I could never put up with that crap.
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Ugh. I am so ready to cut ties from my side of the family. Except, FIL already does not see Monk Man and Bobblehead unless someone is visiting and he feels the need to show my kids off. It would suck for the kids if I had to walk away from another set of grandparents. I don't know if I could do that to my little guys. I guess I will have to suck it up, hold my tongue and just put up with the toxicity.

Sometimes I wish that we could move to another state so I can get away from all this. But I cannot talk Hubbs into moving.

The Story On Hubbs

So earlier in the week, I mentioned being home. Here is the story about that. Yes, I know it is Thursday and I am just barely getting around to this. Forgive me please. It has been a rough week.



We drove to the valley Friday night and stayed in the Hilton. Very nice hotel and thanks to hotels.com, we got the room for $59.00 a night. Of course there was the $15.00 extra person charge (bringing the total bill to $74.00) but still, a night at the Hilton for under $100.00 is pretty good. Oh the room was nice. There was only 1 queen sized bed but the couch made out to a bed. Soft towels, fluffy bed, never ending hot water and a balcony. It was a little piece of heaven.



Traffic was a breeze. We did have a hard time getting around though. I am directionally dyslexic. I cant tell left from right or east from north. Long story short, normally if I don't know exactly how to get there, I don't even try. So finding a restaurant to have dinner at, the actual hotel, a restaurant to have breakfast at and finally the airport was a nightmare.



We had dinner at Applebees. I can honestly say that it was the best thing I have eaten in a really long time. I got a grilled chicken Caesar salad (awesome), Hubbs got steak and shrimp (awesome) and Monk Man had a breaded chicken sandwich as big as my hand (again, awesome). Now usually, I don't like shrimp. But I let Hubbs talk me into tasting it and it was divine!

Monk Man behaved pretty well throughout the whole trip. He only got spanked once and that was when he tried to open the room door and escape.

We had to be at the airport early so while we were there, I bought a Starbucks coffee. It was the first I had had in about a year. Monk Man discovered escalators. OMG, he loved them. Up and down and up and down and up, the WHOLE morning. Hubbs had to take him because I have an irrational fear of escalators (elevators too).

When it got close enough to Hubbs flight time, he told us that we should just go ahead and start the drive home. We said our goodbyes and my the time I got into the parking garage, I was bawling so hard that I had lost the car. That was so fun, I want to do it every day.

When I finally did find the car, Monk Man crawled in his car seat and fell asleep before I had even made it to the bottom of the parking garage. He slept the whole way home. 3+ hour drive, even when I stopped for gas (which was 4.11/gal holy crap!).