When I was growing up, I never felt comfortable in my skin. I was the tall, skinny, ugly chick with the funky teeth and I got teased constantly. I am not exaggerating when I say constantly. Every damn day, somebody had something mean and nasty to say to me. I will spare you the details, but I went home from school crying 4 out of 5 days a week. Kids are cruel. The teachers didnt do anything to stop it or even lessen it. They saw and heard it happening and not one of them did a thing. And when my parents went to the school to try to help, it got worse.
And then came Jr. High. I discovered make up and clothes. And boys. I was still uncomfortable with myself, but I tried to appear confident. People started noticing me. I wasnt the same girl I was before and I was trying to be someone that was liked. That was my big thing. I wanted so desperately to belong. To fit in. I didnt like who I was trying to be, but that seemed to be the only way I would fit in. I still got teased, but in a different way. The majority of the teasing seemed to be coming from the popular girls I was trying to be like. I looked up to these girls. I wanted to BE these girls. They were all so pretty and seemed perfect. Plus they got good grades and they boys paid attention to them. Puberty was a bitch.
When I got to High School, I decided that I wanted to be myself. Not what someone else wanted me to be. I was still having problems with other girls. But this time, the other girls were mean to me because I was tall, skinny, freaking hot, smart and HAPPY, and they were jealous. Afraid their boyfriends liked me more. Which they did, just not like their girlfriends thought. There is a difference in a chick friend and a girlfriend. That was fun. Insert eye roll here. Hell hath no fury like a woman whose boyfriend has a chick friend.
Just let me say, my 10 year reunion in 2010 is going to be fun. I have had 2 kids (and a boob job) and I look better NOW than I did in highschool. I am happy with who I am becoming.
I gave up trying to make people like me. Either you like me or you dont. If you dont, thats your problem, I dont care anymore. My kids like me and thats all that matters.
At 26, I am still trying to figure out who I am. I STILL have a hard time being friends with girls. I still have more guy friends than girl friends. And girl friends I DO have are secure, strong women who are not afraid that I will steal their men. Their men are friends with my Hub. And I am fairly certain the my Hub likes who I am. He better be, I got tired of being someone fake a long time ago.
6 days ago